A Long Overdue Update

***Trigger warning for those struggling with infertility and miscarriage***

What a year this has been! God has faithfully walked with us through this season of our adoption journey. Gladney has been amazing and we are beyond grateful for the work they are doing in our life and around the world. 

One of the issues Ray and I have had to honestly address and grieve is the reality that Abigail may very well be our only biological child. Due to our personal convictions, we have never felt God “okaying” the use of pharmaceutical intervention in order to conceive. There are so many children in the world, longing for a forever family. This, I very intentionally state, is our feeling about OUR marriage and family journey. We would never disapprove of others using intervention for pregnancy; it is merely where God has led us as individuals and a couple.  God filled us with grace as we found great peace and joy in the future makeup of our family.

Ray worked very hard this spring, training for the OKC memorial half marathon, raising funds for our adoption with each mile run. Thanks to the incredible kindness of family and friends, we raised all the funds needed to fully pay for our adoption. We have seen the provision of God through the generosity of so many people. What an amazing and humbling experience to have the community of Christ love you in such a tangible way.

April was spent creating our family profile, having it printed, and multiple copies sent to Gladney. This profile is the first glimpse a birth mothers has into our life. Once those were turned in, the long wait began. April turned to May, and then the long wait was suddenly and unexpectedly over.

After a week of intense sickness we discovered that I am pregnant!

Miracle.

We have heard so many stories of people finally being able to conceive during the adoption process, but never expected to be one such family. If you are familiar with our journey, you know I struggle with recurrent miscarriage. The first several weeks we usually hold our breath and pray for peace, which God has once again provided.

This pregnancy has been much more difficult on my body than my pregnancy with Abigail. I honestly chalked this up to it begin the second pregnancy with a 2 ½ year old exhaustion and possibly a baby boy since I was having such intense symptoms.  

After we encountered some (what we now know are minor) issues, we had the opportunity to have an early ultrasound. While the sono tech looked around I began to fret, not being able to see a heartbeat. I nervously asked if she could see a heartbeat, she paused and then replied, “Actually, I see two.”

Twins.

That’s right, not only are we expecting (a miracle in itself), we are expecting twins (who are possibly identical. Not quite sure; as of now they seem to be mono/di twins)!!!

Wooo. Yeah, take that in.

Okay, to answer some of the questions you may have:

What happens with the adoption?

-Our adoption goes on hold until babies are at least 9 months old 

(we will probably wait until they are 1 year).

Will you still adopt?

-YES!! We will continue to adopt. We know adoption is intended for our family and look forward to God’s prefect timing.

When is your estimated due date?

-Due date? Ha! Twins are a whole other ball game y’all. We’re already working diligently to help them stay in until they are full term, which for twins is 37 weeks.

Meaning???

-Meaning, we hope babies will stay put until early January.

Isn’t it a bit early for an announcement?

-Possibly :). This news has been a lot for us to take in and we have found comfort in having the chance to process with close family and friends. Now that a growing number of people know, we figured we might as well share openly. Not to mention that second pregnancy with twins . . . 

momma is gonna be showing quickly.

How can I help?

-Thank you for asking!! At this time, we deeply covet your prayers. We are still in a bit of shock. The idea of moving from a family of 3 to 5 is a bit overwhelming! Pray for the safety of the babies, as they are in critical weeks of growth. Also, please pray for my focus and diligence with this pregnancy. All of our research thus far has instructed that the best way to keep twins growing until 37 weeks is nutrition. Among other things, this means drinking one gallon of water and eating nearly 150 grams of protein daily. No easy task for a nauseas momma!

Have other questions? Leave them bellow and we will do our best to answer them!

Adoption Update

I ran 8 miles yesterday. With each and every step, the reality of the half-marathon is drawing near grew stronger.  It's been quite a journey.  In January when I first started, I could barely run 2 miles at a time.  All the snow and ice we experienced has made training cold and challenging.  But Saturday, I ran eight miles.  I've come a long ways, but still have a long ways to go if I want to finish it on April 27th. Two and a half months of training have flown by, but the journey continues.

In many ways, my journey with the half marathon has paralleled our adoption journey.  It seemed to have started off slowly, but now we are taking huge steps!  January started by getting all of our paperwork and background checks to Gladney.  After clearing that hurdle, in February we traveled down to Fort Worth to the Gladney Center for our big interview with our social worker.  The interview lasted from nine in the morning until nearly 3 in the afternoon (they were very thorough).  I think Sarah and I have a slight advantage in these interviews because we always interview together doing churchwork.  After this interview, Sarah went to work putting together our profile for the birthmother to look at.  The way it works at Gladney is that the birthmother picks us, which is humbling and terrifying at the same time.  In order to do this, we have to create a "profile" for the birthmom to look at.  This profile is actually a photobook of our lives (like one you would make on Snapfish).  All the while, Sarah has also been raising money through her business at Premier Designs selling jewelry.  The response to this has been incredible.  At one of her parties, she sold the 4th most jewelry for one party in the whole company during the first quarter sales (her name was in the quarterly magazine).  People have been generous and encouraging every step of the way.  I do not go one day without someone asking how the adoption process is going.  At the beginning of March, a social worker who works in the Gladney Oklahoma office came to our house to complete our home study.  Again, it was a relaxed atmosphere, although we deep cleaned the house and even painted a couple hallways to get ready for her.  Then finally, we got the big news Friday:  WE ARE OFFICIALLY ACCEPTED AND WAITING!  Our profile is being sent out and we could have a match anytime.  It's been a process, but one where we have seen the goodness of God played out each step of the way.

We have more fundraisers coming up.  I, of course, am running the half marathon on April 27th.  If you would like to sponsor me on my run, you can click the paypal box to the right.  I will also set up a benefit website in the near future.  We are also working on a "Coffee and Karaoke" night at a local coffee shop here.  If you can't donate, we ask that you would pray for us, pray for our potential birthmother, and pray for our future baby!

Why Gladney?

By day, I'm a mommy. A nose-wipping, booboo-kissing, hand-face-and-body-washing, 

"I've cleaned this room 15 times today," mommy (and I LOVE it).

By night (at least it seems like it's always at night), I'm a labor doula. 

I walk with mommies and daddies through their pregnancy. Make sure they are educated and have all the resources and support they need; help them create a "birth plan," etc. Then, on the big day, I have the honor of being an extra set of hands to squeeze momma's hips during contractions, an added voice of encouragement to the hardest working woman on the planet, the one who assures daddy it's okay to go get water because I'll be there. 

Long or short labors, natural or medicated, home or hospital; each and every birth is a holy and indescribably sacred experience. 

I've studied enough about the moments and days after birth to know about the power of the connection between momma and baby.

As Ray and I began to walk toward the process of adoption, I noticed myself hesitating. Strange, for a woman who has felt drawn to the plight of the orphaned her entire life to hesitate. Upon greater inspection of this hesitation I discovered the fear: "How I can play a roll in separating a baby from his/her mother?" He'll know her voice and her smell. He'll need her colostrum and her breast milk (a living organism!) could change it's antibodies in order to care for his exact needs. 

Honestly, I found myself a bit nauseated and terrified this situation would cause so much pain. 

In my confusion, The Spirit gently asked, "what's the alternative?" 

Abortion? No. 

What these mother's do is out of deep love and courage. 

The chance to give their baby a life they are unable to give;

Many times to people who are unable to create families biologically.

This gift - the gift of a child - it's holy and indescribably scared. 

So what about the mothers? 

The strong, courageous, deeply loving mothers, 

who pass their children into the hands of other mothers and fathers. 

Who cares for them? 

Gladney does.

Gladney cares for their birth mothers in powerfully important ways. 

Medical care, nutritional guidance, a safe place to stay, a helping hand educationally and on the job-front. Most importantly, they begin grief counseling prior to birth and continue after. The mothers are offered free counseling for life as they grapple with the hardest and most loving decision they will ever make. Gladney is honest with these women about the road they are traveling and pledges to stand by them as the community of Christ, forever. 

Maybe not so surprisingly, it seems that many mothers can get lost in the shuffle of adoption.

At Gladney, they don't. 

So, why Gladney? 

For me, it was the mothers. 

-Sarah 

Food for thought.

"It is estimated there are between 143 million and 210 million orphans worldwide (recent UNICEF report.) The UNICEF orphan numbers DON’T include abandonment (millions of children) as well as sold and/or trafficked children. The current population of the United States is just a little over 300 million… to give you an idea of the enormity of the numbers…"

http://www.orphanhopeintl.org/facts-statistics/

There are an estimated 123,000 orphans in America.

Every year, nearly 30,000 of these children "age out" of the system.

"According to national statistics provided by Arrow, 40 to 50 percent of those children will never complete high school. Sixty-six percent of them will be homeless, go to jail or die within one year of leaving the foster care system at 18."

More than 80% will be incarcerated before the age of 23. 
http://amarillo.com/news/local-news/2012-06-24/what-comes-next

One of the most given commands in scripture is to care for the orphans. 

"If only 7% of the world’s professing Christians responded to God's call to care for the fatherless,"

there would be no.more.orphans. 

http://www.everychildhasaname.org/projects/scholarships.html

We have been adopted as THE children of GOD. 

May we be moved as God's children to care for, love and adopt 

the millions of children longing for love and looking for home. 

And then I heard the voice of the Master:
    “Whom shall I send?
    Who will go for us?”
I spoke up,
    “I’ll go.
    Send me!”

-Isaiah 6:8-

Being led to answer the call? Consider The Gladney Center for Adoption

-Sarah 

Our Adoption Journey

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  James 1:27

Why adopt?  That's the question that is often on the lips of people when we first tell them of our adoption journey.  It is true that we already have a beautiful, joyful daughter in Abigail Hope.  She is a treasure and a gift from God.  However, we feel that God is also calling us to adopt a child.  

There are a myriad of reasons why Sarah and I have chosen to adopt.  Our love story began in an orphanage in Kenya.  We first noticed each other loving on babies and toddlers in a Buckner orphanage outside of Nairobi.  From that point on, we both knew that adoption would be a part of our journey together as a married couple.  When we first got married, I leaned more towards international adoption.  However, the more we prayed and considered our calling to adoption, the more God drew our hearts to a domestic adoption.  In doing research, and in pastoring in a community where the majority of children are in poverty, God softened our hearts to the children in our own country who are being overlooked.  That is why we chose Gladney's ABC program (African-American/bi-racial children) to adopt through.  We wish to adopt a child that the rest of the culture would overlook.  (We will do a later post explaining in full detail Gladney and the ABC program).

In doing so, we are trying to live out James 1:27 which I believe to be a snapshot of the Gospel.  One of the illustrations that both Jesus and Paul use in the New Testament to describe the work of Christ is adoption.  God has adopted us into His family through Jesus Christ.  What a promise!  You and I are apart of God's family.  The main marker of God's family I believe is seen on the cross through Jesus' sacrificial love.  It is that sacrificial love that is to govern our lives, our marriages, and the way we approach those overlooked in our society.  It is the working out of that love, with fear and trembling, that Sarah and I are beginning the journey of adoption.  

Sarah and I are fundraising together and individually in our own way.  I am going to run a half-marathon on April 27th in OKC.  I will be asking for sponsors to give a certain amount per mile or a one-time donation to help with the funding of our adoption.  If you wish to donate, there is a link labeled "donate" on the sidebar of our blog.  If you cannot donate financially, please join us in prayer as we are trusting in God to provide in every way for our family.  

- Ray