Gluten Free: the good, the bad, the confused

It has been nearly 70 days since I transitioned to a completely gluten-free diet. Although I have had my share of pity-party moments while watching friends indulge in foods that we now know possess the culprit of my illness(es), I feel like a completely different human. Turns out, it's not normal to feel fatigued every waking hour of the day, experience incredible pain hours after eating, and (my favorite) an unnatural burning-of-the-scalp after a routine shampoo and condition.

Eating pain-free, watching the random depression and anxiety attacks dissipate, being able to shower like a normal person, and actually having energy has changed me, but there is one change that I would consider the most bizarre of all: Raynaud's. After an experience with hypothermia my sophomore year of high school, we discovered I have a rare circulatory disease called raynaud's. Basically, my body is super sensitive to temperature changes and always seems to think it needs to push blood away from my feet, hands, ears and nose in order to save other, more important organs. This reaction led to my extremities become incredibly cold and usually turning blue or purple. So, even when if it was summer and 120 degrees, I wore a jacket.

"You're warm, Sarah," was the comment made by my husband as he held my hand about 5 weeks into the diet. I had not really noticed. Nevertheless, as we began to be attentive to my Raynaud's we quickly noticed, it was almost completely gone. Absent. Vanished. No where to be found. I have begun wearing shirts without sleeves, dresses without cardigans . . . I'm living jacket free! Now folks, this might seem rather humorous to you, but if you only understood. It is as though I am slowly becoming less and less a prisoner in my own body.

FREEDOM.

Yet this freedom has not totally proved free it's own frustrations.

I love where we live; it's quite, it's beautiful, (let's be honest) it's free of charge. But, the closest place to purchase the food we need is an hour away. We have had to learn how to plan out every aspect of our schedule around this diet. When can we get food? Where can we get food? Can we eat at that restaurant (If it's anywhere near Hillsboro, NO)? This town, and the towns close to it for that matter, is not conducive to gluten-free living. We're praying our next move will place us near a Whole Foods or Trader Joes!

Fact: I live in the middle of wheat fields. That's right, we farm wheat here in Hill county and lucky me it's harvest season. It's sort of comical to think that the thing I'm allergic to is at this moment literally flying around in massive quantities. Needless to say I've been a bit sick this week.

People. I love people. And, for the most part, the people in our community (not just geographical) have been extremely supportive; even when they have never heard of the word gluten, much less know what it is. BUT , there are those who have not been as gracious and that has been difficult to handle. It's been difficult to discover that some just assume this is another flower-child experiment, rather than understanding its necessity in my life. It's been difficult to explain to those who were positive that my semi-gluten free diet had not given enough nutrents to sustain both pregnancies that the exact opposite is true. It's been difficult to listen to people gawk, totally dumbfounded that food could abort a pregnancy (Seriously, friends? According to the CDC, heart disease kills more Americans than anything else. How do you think most people are contacting this disease? "FOOD". But that it is a completely different rant).

Thankfully, those people and those certain situations have not outweighed the support and the pure joy I've experienced (Ray as well) in feeling and being healthy for the first time in nearly seven years. We are forever grateful to God for helping us not give up our quest for answers and discovering this life-changing information.

Growth

With the help of a farmer in our church (who by the way is one of the kindest most Christ-following men I've ever known), Ray and I planted our first garden.

Spinach, lettuce, carrots, onions, tomatoes, snap beans, zucchini, squash, and peppers!


By far the most exciting part of this gardening experience has been sharing the food with friends.
Need any zucchini?

Fly Me to the Moon

Ray and I were recently introduced to some of
my sister's astronaut and NASA friends.

This week while Ray and I were in Houston, Todd Hellner from NASA spent hours showing us around Johnson Space Center.

It. Was. Incredible.

We had conversations with astronauts who mere months ago were living on the International Space Station, stepped onto the floor of Mission Control, and sat in the practice shuttle's pilot and captain's seats.Here are the few pictures captured before my camera battery died.

The old Apollo Mission Control room.
This is where Gene Kranz sat during Apollo 13.
This room is no longer operational and is now a Nation Monument.

Down the hall is the current Mission Control room, which we were lucky to get into; an hour later and it would have been closed down in order to prepare for the Shuttle Atlantis, which launched yesterday afternoon.
In the Shuttle!

Did you know that in the Space Station, the craft is moving at such a fast speed that the astronauts experience a sunset or sunrise every 45 minutes? Or, that there is only a 5 minute window every day in which a shuttle can launch and reach the station without using up all their fuel? Amazing, yes?!

We are so thankful to our friend Todd for such an incredible experience.

One Vision

It is said that the first year of marriage is the most difficult.

False.

At least that has not proved to be true for us. Year two has been filled with more struggle and growing pains than I think we ever expected. Yes, eight weeks ago we lost our second child. Sure, a week after that our lives changed dramatically with a completely gluten-free lifestyle taking up its permanent residency in our world. Of course, like most young ministers we are attempting to creatively live on one salary while I commute to and from Waco 10 hours a week to be in school full-time.

Yet the difficulty in our relationship has come less from the pain of loss, and frustration of finance, and more from the realization that we are two incredibly different people.

Our fabulous counselor, * we are big believers in the ability a trained, professional listener has to encourage our relationship to be as strong as possible, which is especially important for ministers. I'll talk about counseling often, so if the mention of it makes you uncomfortable and causes you to question your own sanity, you may want to talk with someone about that.* recently had us take a personality assessment called an enneagram, in which a person falls into one of 9 personality types. I sat in total shock as I listened to our counselor describe how, based on our results, my personality type at its worst becomes Ray's personality type and Ray's personality type at its worst becomes mine. Yeah, feel free to read that sentence again.

How?! How have I been married to this man for 21 months and not realized that we are exact opposites? I mean, we get along so well. No hesitation; I'd rather be near this man (in every simple and complex way that means) than any other living, breathing human in existence. We balance each other out. He is gracious when I am quick to criticize. He goes with the flow and I plan out details. He rarely looks past next Sunday and I scheme months in advance. I crave the experience of adventure and He longs for the stability of a hometown. I live a few dream clouds above reality while He naturally abides on the ground of actuality. I prefer the liturgy of high church and He prefers the grassroots simplicity of guitar led worship.

Do we love each other? yes.
Are we friends? the best.
Have we recently woken-up thinking "oh no, who is this person I have forever hitched my wagon to?" without a doubt.

My dreams include multiple scene changes; most of which have mountains as a backdrop. His dreams stay faithfully under this massive Texas sky; hopefully in the same place for 30 years or so. As we become more honest and unravel the depth of our diverse visions for our future, the more difficult, taxing and (let's speak truth) scary the weight and reality of "two becoming one," becomes. How do you submit to each other as equals and deal with the less than flattering discovery that you may actually be more selfish than you ever cared to acknowledge? How do release pieces of your dreams and goals without losing yourself? How do you create and give birth a new vision, a shared vision?

Honestly, we don't know quite yet. But, we do know that this vulnerable growth process (though painful at times) is bringing beautiful, servant-minded, trust-filled, grace-founding life to our "one."

April

April was a big and busy month! Both mine and Ray's Birthdays, finishing up projects, and adjusting to my new gluten-free life! Here are some pics from the past few weeks.

Friends together for Ray's birthday at Ninfa's

My Sister, niece, and friends Kristyn, Ryan and Jackson came over on my birthday to celebrate with an incredible gluten-free meal made by my amazing husband! GF cheesecake and all!

Kim and Harrison's Beautiful Wedding