Thursday, March 19, 2009
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Silence
Most people are incredibly uncomfortable with silence. Especially among younger generations who are so technologically overstimulated that they have forgotten what face-to-face communication is like.
I can remember the first time I ever truly experienced silence. It was my sophomore year of high school and I was climbing my very first mountain with a good friend and group of church members. Before heading out to Mt. Hope, our climbing guides stripped us of all things technological. This was completely okay with me, until they took my watch. My watch?! You're kidding right? How am I supposed to know what ungodly hour your waking me up at? How am I supposed know when it's time for dinner?
The response: "Trust us; your guides. You don't need to know how and when things will happen, they simply will . . . take time to enjoy the silence."
Enjoy Silence? And why should I trust you? How do I know you really know what you're doing?
I've found myself saying similar things to God this year. God has only ushered me into two silent seasons with him in my life and let's be honest, these seasons are not my favorite. Mostly because there's not much to do when God is silent other than grow . . . and growing is a slow, some times frustrating and almost always an uncomfortable process.
It became clear last semester that God was inviting (more like telling) me to step up with confidence and make the next directional decision. That's where we hit the road block. God knows that I will follow Him anywhere, anytime, but we've discovered I'm not so quick to move (if at all) when the decision is left in my hands. I have found myself not asking if He is trustworthy, but rather if I am trustworthy.
What we believe about our own abilities are a direct reflection of what we believe about God's.
A painful truth that has been searing itself into me for months.
Reminders
As Ray and I climbed our first mountain together last week, he reminded me that Mother Teresa followed God's command to the slums of India and then did not hear from God again for another 30 years. A reminder that was not so encouraging at that moment, but profoundly powerful in the days to follow.
I have begun to grow fond of the simplicity of His silence and the way it forces faith to stand there naked; the way it invites you to trust. I continue to be amazed at how simply pieces of me have come to life during this season learning to live as beloved child who has been made in the image of the Creator.
Where is all this leading? I have no idea, but in silence or communication, I trust my guide.
He's been up this mountain before.
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5 comments:
what a good reminder. great way to start my day.
Wow! That was something I needed to read. I am on a journey as I seek to grow closer to God. Silence has often frustrated me as a barrier. Recently, I began to understand that the silence was a chance to grow in faith & obedience. You captured with words one of the struggles I have faced.
I just read a quote in the book I'm reading that says something like, "we are so quick to jump into the silent spots and fill them with noise, when what we really need to do is learn to let the silence just be." That is so hard. I loved this post. Just imagine what you will hear when the silence is over.
Thanks for sharing your journey. Your comments about how growing hurts reminds me of our conversation the other night. I know we were talking about physically growing as kids--and how we remember having pains and aches when we were in a "growing season." I think the same is true with our spiritually. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that given that God created ALL of us.
If you think about it, silence is really quite intimate. We are only comfortable being truly silent with the ones we love the most. There is that feeling of relief that nothing NEEDS to be said. God is content to just sit with you in the midst of everything and BE with you. That is pretty cool to think about--even if it is hard to experience (and I know it is). Love you.
You made me a sign that hung in my office at Royal Lane. It said something like.....I believe in the Sun even when it's not shining.....something, something, something......and I believe in God even when He is silent.
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