Let's be honest

I've been avoiding you.

Which is such a shame, considering I now have such a beautiful blog to write on (thanks again, Lo).

I have so much to say, but when I attempt to form these thoughts into words, it turns out I don't know how.

We had an amazing, incredible and absolutely perfect vacation. Some of the most precious moments I have ever experienced with my best friend and God happened that week.

And then Thursday came.

And we found out our friend, Clint Dobson, had died.

Not just died, but had been murdered.

Not just murdered, but brutally murdered.

We woke up on Wednesday, sick with anxiety, and headed to Clint's funeral. His celebration of life. The celebration of a life that is still living because it is still powerfully impacting others and pointing them to Jesus.

The week before we left on vacation Ray preached the funeral of a very young man, in his early twenties, who was also killed. The events that led to his man's death deeply shook our entire county.

I know the grass and trees are whispering that spring has arrived, but I find myself stumbling through a season of death.

The past ten days have emotionally, spiritually and physically twisted me in circles and rung me out. I have never found myself more confused by God's actions (or lack there of), God's interaction with the world God loves so deeply. I have had thousands of questions; though, if I'm honest, I'm not sure I want the answers.

Yet, the truths of God remain mighty and steadfast and the Word of God continues to speak life into death, as the community of God's people grasp onto one another and stumble our way through this dark night of the soul to the throne of light and the conqueror of death.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its water roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a rive whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most high dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth; he breaks wars cease to the the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46

May you feel the nearness of God as you make your way to the cross this Lenten season.

grace and peace, to you.